Whoever invented the "Nurse Advice Line" should be kicked in the face.

So, last shift was exceptionally quiet. Except for the unspecific sick call. We had several cases of flu symptoms over a few days and " I called the nurse advide line and they told me to call 911" stories. You could call these "nurses" with a runny nose and they will tell you of the possibility of CSF leaking from your skull and to call 911. Nobody would notice if they had been replaced with a monkey and a parrot. The monkey would answer the phone and hold it up to the parrot(nurse), who would squawk "call 911". Completely useless.

The other excuse for a ems taxi ride from last shift : "I wouldn't have bothered you guys but I don't have any gas in either of my two cars." Just the reason EMS exists.

And lastly, the "I'll pay fpr it, I have madicaid / medicare." I usually respond (in my inner dialogue) No, that means I'll pay for it.

Drunk girls will stab you

So, while my crew and I were busy wrestling a naked overdose guy who shot himself in the leg because the fence was talking to him; a nearby crew had to respond to a stabbing call in our district. The intoxicated girlfriend stabbed the boyfriend in the chest - not too unusual for my district. The unusual part was when the engine had to respond back to the same address later that night for a pregnant female with abdominal pain. This "pt" was very intoxicated and the cool part was she was in police custody for the stabbing. So yes, the DRUNK pregnant female stabbed her boy friend in the chest with a kitchen knife. it was probably over the last beer. Good times

Sibling rivalry

So just before midnight on Valentine's Day we get toned out for a stabbing assault. We arrive to find private ambulance medic in full blown panic. But to her credit she has already loaded the patient onto the gurney and we are on our way shortly. After all, we are the tow truck, not the mechanic. So the transport goes well and we deliver our unconscious female patient alive. Strangely enough the female patient was stabbed by her sister. In front of both of their kids ages 4-6 years old. I just wonder what the argument could have been to make someone stab their sister several times.

New one by me............

So we get a call in the middle night....Why do most of the ridiculous calls come in the middle of the night? Anyway, we get a call for a POSSIBLE seizure. Most conscious adults can identify a person having a seizure. So we arrive to find our "patient" sitting wide awake and alert on his couch. Even tough Mr. Patient (age 47)answers enough questions to be orientated he indicates that his wife or mommy will be answering all the questions. So wife tells us there was no real seizure, he woke up preaching. So there it is... the call to 911 because an adult was preaching.
Wife tells the 4 paramedics in the room that last time she had to call for preaching the paramedics advised there was nothing wrong and left. Then he (the patient) got worse! Not knowing how the preacher could get worse, I asked for clarification. Surprise! There was no clarification, last time the preaching got worse! Right. You know they wanted to be transported by ambulance to be evaluated in the emergency room for uncontrollable preaching. Of course mommy had to come along to supervise.

Call 911 for.....bus money?

Seizure call at burger king. We arrive and initially have trouble finding anyone who is or was seizing. Then we notice a man in his 30's waving frantically over his head. As we approach I make note that the man is sitting in front of a piping hot whopper meal, supersized. We make contact and since he isn't pointing to anyone else, we ask: Are you the seizure pt? He responds yes. Me: what can we do for you? Him: I had them call you. Me: Ok we are here, what can we do for you? Him: I am fine. Me: Is there any emergent medical complaint that we can help you with? Him: No I am fine, I was wondering if you could take me a couple of miles? Me: no, we don't do that. Him: If you could just give me some bus money I'll be ok. Me: You appear ok now with your 5 dollar whopper meal in front of you. Him: Could you just give me a lift home then? .......................... Thats when we just turned around and walked out.

I love my job

So, last shift was brutal. the second night (48hr shifts) about 3 in the morning we get sent out for a sick call. They never put these calls on the recruiting poster for ems. My partner and I are so tired I think it took us 5-6 mins to get out of the station. We find the low income apts and arrive about the same time as our private ambulance company. We find the one bedroom apt and discover the occupants of apt#49 have converted the living room into a second bedroom, where we find our "pt". We ask the 75 yo woman her chief complaint and medical history. She responds she has no relative medical history but her teeth have been bothering her for over a week now. We ask if there is another complaint that may have justified a call to 911? She responds: no. Ambulance medic advises insurance may not pay for a non emergent complaint. She responds she has medicare / medicaid and she demands the ambulance transport. Ok here ya go, ambulance transport to wait in the waiting room for hours. Congrats.

Question about EMS abusers?