Whoever invented the "Nurse Advice Line" should be kicked in the face.

So, last shift was exceptionally quiet. Except for the unspecific sick call. We had several cases of flu symptoms over a few days and " I called the nurse advide line and they told me to call 911" stories. You could call these "nurses" with a runny nose and they will tell you of the possibility of CSF leaking from your skull and to call 911. Nobody would notice if they had been replaced with a monkey and a parrot. The monkey would answer the phone and hold it up to the parrot(nurse), who would squawk "call 911". Completely useless.

The other excuse for a ems taxi ride from last shift : "I wouldn't have bothered you guys but I don't have any gas in either of my two cars." Just the reason EMS exists.

And lastly, the "I'll pay fpr it, I have madicaid / medicare." I usually respond (in my inner dialogue) No, that means I'll pay for it.

Drunk girls will stab you

So, while my crew and I were busy wrestling a naked overdose guy who shot himself in the leg because the fence was talking to him; a nearby crew had to respond to a stabbing call in our district. The intoxicated girlfriend stabbed the boyfriend in the chest - not too unusual for my district. The unusual part was when the engine had to respond back to the same address later that night for a pregnant female with abdominal pain. This "pt" was very intoxicated and the cool part was she was in police custody for the stabbing. So yes, the DRUNK pregnant female stabbed her boy friend in the chest with a kitchen knife. it was probably over the last beer. Good times