Tuesday, September 27, 2011


E19 respond to a single vehicle roll over accident with fire. Occupant status unknown.
Upon arrival we found a full size expedition that had left the roadway, went airborne and impacted windshield first into a bridge support. The vehicle had a small fire in the engine compartment. We had a difficult time positioning the engine because the private ambulance parked near the vehicle and then left on foot. The driver had extricated himself and was down the street. The fire went out quickly. The driver was the only occupant. Despite attempting to refuse EMS he was transported for evaluation and the obvious blood test. My guess is prescription drugs will be found in his system. Funny fact: He was on his way to his first day at his new job as a bouncer and our newest gentlemen's club.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Good news / Bad news!

If I have any followers left, (thanks honey!) you may have noticed my recent and long lasting absence. For this I apologize, but I have had a couple of things on my plate. So here go the excuses: Wife and I added one little girl to our family and I had to hit the books for a promotion. The promotion is the main reason I have not been posting. In my organization its a year of study and in my case almost a year of floating to random assignments throughout the city. Once I was ranked on my promotional list then I began upgrading on engines and ladders. Good news was I was back to riding the engines and ladders, bad news not as many blog-worthy stories to write. You just can't beat EMS stories from the ghetto. Which brings me to my announcement and shifting of gears here at I love my job. I have been promoted! I am now an Engine Captain.
So in our 2 tier system I will still be dispatched to EMS calls but the engines don't always remain on scene long enough to hear the patient's stories. That and I am no longer responsible for the folks in the ghetto, I have been relocated. So that means we are changing gears a little here on my little therapy project. In addition to the usual funny (at least I think so)stories I will begin to include some Station Captain stories as well. And a little of what its like for a paramedic riding a BLS fire engine. Hope you like

Sunday, December 26, 2010

911 dispatcher friend posted this one:

Caller: "I need the fire department to come over to my apartment to give me a urinalysis, to clear my name of ID theft and crack pipe possession".
Dispatcher: "uh... excuse me?"
( I'll just say it went downhill from there................)

Friday, October 22, 2010


26A1 - non emergent sick call. This code is used for chief complaints such as: nervousness, hunger, fatigue, cold/flu symptoms etc. And working in the ghetto we get this on a lot. AS you may or may not know, there are some holes in our health care system. Everyone without coverage knows they can be seen at the ER, but they also know they will have to wait. So often these folks are willing to sacrifice the evaluation by a MD for a paramedic that makes house calls after you dial 3 easy numbers.
Back to the story: So last tuesday was no different and we get a call for a 26A1. Last tuesday I also had a paramedic intern from the military riding with us. I only mention the military part because most of us did not go straight to paramedic. Myself, I started as a basic and worked my way up seeing some sick people among other things before I tried paramedicine. Not in the military program. Straight to paramedic. So he has not seen EMS before now.
This code has been deemed a non emergency response. The crew and intern make our way over to the address code one. As we get our gear and approach the open apt door there are some kids running around without adult supervision. Normal. Being the good intern that he is, he is the first to be directed to the back bedroom in this tiny apartment. Before I can get a look, Intern starts to stammer: "uh, I, uh, I think we need the OB kit" Me being the observant supervisor that I am, I ask: " Why?" (good question I thought) He stammers again: " Uh, there is a baby here and he looks new!"
Well I finally gain access to the bedroom and sure enough his deduction skills were accurate. There was mom lying on her back. Her torso was propped up by her elbows and covered by her Mickey D's uniform. And between her legs was her newest son, face down on the matress still attached by the umbilical cord. I found it strange that mom had not picked the baby up during our code one response. Luckily, nature had taken care of this lil guy until we got there, the umbilical cord was still pulsating a little and his color was good. Transport was uneventful, but again mom was reluctant to hold or comfort the baby. Wierd stuff in the ghetto.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Deadly force on a blind guy?

The engine responds to the local nursing facility for a 25B. Someone is having an unknown psychiatric "emergency". The patient is only 40 years old removing him from the usual age range for this facility. But on occasion some poor soul is forced to rehab in the crappiest nursing home in town. Most of you know what I am talking about: The stains on the wall are older than I am. The staff members are drunk, high, incompetent, or a combination of all 3. I would not leave a sworn enemy in this facility. The patient is in fact 40 years old a man in a wheelchair who has a leaking colostomy bag and Hep C. The spilled contents of the colostomy bag is the only thing this man is wearing. He is a parapalegic and is blind. The patient is combative and verbally abusive. The local police force is on scene as with any other 25B call except Officer Barney Fife is not equipped with a taser. Why would he need it anyway, right? Because naked blind handicapped patient has announced if anyone touches him the fight is on! So a good long while is spent attempting to explain the situation and the fact that once he had threatned suicide his decision making resposibilities are revoked. So the engine and Ofc. Fife stall the pending struggle long enough for more PD officers to arrive. 2 more cops, number of tasers? Still 0. Super. We are now confident there are enough people (9) to control a blind guy who can't run. And contact is attempted. Small struggle ensues and the patient reaches over to a small bag that has gone unnoticed until now. He produces (quickly mind you) a large butterfly knife with the blade exposed. And even faster the officer draws his weapon. Great. I am going to be witness to Ofc Fife shooting a blind guy in a wheelchair. (mental images of me on the winess stand are running through my brain and I am sure my mouth is hanging open) The remaining incompetent staff members scream and run down the hall yelling someone's name. The other 2 officers draw their weapons and they all take their tactical shooting positions on the naked blind guy with a butterfly knife. Officers 2 and 3 realize whathey are doing and holster their weapons, but ofc. Fife takes a few more minutes. The whole time the patient is screaming all about he will kill all of us and blindly swinging his knife around. One of the officers grab his wrists and the fight is on until ambulance medic jams 5mg Versed into patients arm. The patient is restrained and prepared for transport to a hospital with psychiatric services. The Versed barely works and the struggle is sustained all the way to the hospital. Poor guy, when all this is over he still has to return to the worst nursing home in town.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

3am 4Delta

Does anyone else use the stupid MPDS? If you do, then you know that the 4 means assault and the delta means it is suppossed to be a serious call. In my system, this delta designation means a total of 8 responders are sent to this life threatening emergency.
We arrive on scene and find our "critically wounded" patient walking around on the second level of a apartment building. He reports he has been assaulted and his chest hurts. My partner asks if the patient was hit with an object, closed fists or anything else. Thats when this short thin beared man tells us that the assailant was his girlfriend and she sat on his face and chest causing the injury. It is times like this that it is hard to keep a straight face and refrain from asking if this was a "sex related" injury. Luckily he just wanted to get in the ambulance and go to the hospital.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Somethings are not in the EMS brochure!!

We have a PD substation in our district. Anyone who shares this stroke of luck, know that this little building is responsible for a lot of ems runs. For some reasons when dirtbags are getting arrested they start complaining to the officer that they have some sort of medical complaint. Enter EMS and our most recent story. It seems like these requests for EMS increase severely after midnight, so this one os approx 2 am. We get called for some sort of EMS run to the substation. We enter the little holding office and find the private ambulance medic interviewing the patient. I walk in about the time the patient starts describing a "large zit" on her ass. She goes on to advise how it feels like its going to pop at any moment and whatever is going to run down her leg. Before we could stop her she stands up, bends over and pulls down her pants to show rather large hemorrhoids.
Luckily, she gets her pants up half way up before she passes out- nothing a little Narcan can't handle. After a pursuit at 20mph, her 9 year old told PD "She gave herself a shot and started acting wierd"