Tuesday, December 8, 2009

If your erection lasts more than 4 hours.....

Where I work we have a heavy rescue squad that is equipped with all the heavy rescue tools you can think of. Second in line for heavy rescue is our ladder companies. A couple of these units together are capable of some extreme rescues. They were called to the Level 1 trauma center the other day for a man who was being flown in from a nearby town. Apparently this individual thought it was a good idea to use a heavy duty commercial grade bearing race as a cockring. Once the desired affect was achieved it was realized that removal was impossible. I am sure this individual waited a good long time before seeking medical attention. This was possibly occuring since the night before. Small town hospital called for an air ambulance after the small town ER ring cutters didn't make a scratch. Our crews were called to the trauma center after additional failed attempts with manual ring cutters. Hydraulic cutters were not an option, (ouch) so last the FD heard the pt was being prepped for a manual drainage (syringes) procedure that will likely result in scar tissue and varying degrees of dysfunction. Poor bastard.